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My Honest Resume

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Maisha Savani

My Address, Email, and Phone Number That You Can Use To Contact Me When You Reject Me

Education

Overpriced University,Boston,MA                                                                                                                                                                

Bachelor of Arts in a Major That I Now Realize Will Never Make Me $$$ May 2019

Minor: Something Random that has nothing to do with my major in order to demonstrate that I’m “well-rounded”

A High School You Have Never Heard of and Don’t Care For ,New York,NY                                                      

Related Experience

The Only Significant Position Worth Looking At (January  2017-)———————————-Boston,MA

This is probably the only relevant experience that I have that is remotely impressive and that’s why I’m flaunting it first in my application. I will ramble on about my supposed responsibilities and what I have gained from my time here, but I’m incredibly desperate to leave. So please- help me.

 

Some Bullshit Job I Had The Summer Before College (2015)—————————————-New York,NY

Wow was I desperate for any job I could get, because this really sucked the soul of me.

Something I Did Five Years Ago That I Will Try To Pass Off As Relevant————————-New York,NY

I know I’m really stretching it her, but hey- you got to do what it takes to fill the page- am I right?

Additional Experience

Generic Board Position In College (Sept 2016-)———————————————————Boston,MA

A staff position I’m not going to care for in a year when I graduate for this club is dying out anyways.

Something From High School That I Will Refuse to Take Off My Resume  (2015)————-New York,NY

Something that’s probably completely irrelevant at this point but I’m too proud of it to take it off my resume just yet.

Related Skills

Slept through half a CPR Class.

Know five words in French and will try to pass it off as being proficient.

Ctrl C + Ctrl V

Typing data into Excel

Featured Image Credit: Photo by: coffeebeanworks URL: https://pixabay.com/en/avatar-customers-photos-ecommerce-3127928/


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